


A Future Not Chosen

by Galaxy_Raven



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, References to Canon Death, References to Canon Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 18:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30059952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxy_Raven/pseuds/Galaxy_Raven
Summary: A look at Winona Tabris's life and when it all changed. Takes place in Denerim, right before she leaves with Duncan.
Relationships: Shianni & Soris & Female Tabris
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	A Future Not Chosen

The blood stained _everything_.

Her hands, her dress - it was caked on her feet and in her hair, the iron tang still sharp in her mouth.

Her mother’s wedding dress was ruined.

Bloody, torn, and ruined.

She might have shed a tear over it, but more valuable things were lost that day.

Shianni was huddled on the bed, her fierce and fiery cousin unrecognizable, because of what those _pigs_ did to her.

Winona gripped the pommel of her borrowed sword, knuckles raw as her emotions.

 _Rage_.

Rage filled her gut, a burning ice, wishing she could resurrect them all just so she could kill them again, make them suffer for what they did, for the lives they took, the lives they destroyed. Her muscles twitched to make them bleed, to rend them apart. 

_Nelaros_.

The name echoed in her mind. The man who would have been her husband. The daydreams of a simple life together, a home of her own, children, a little roof top garden like her one here...

That dream bled out with her betrothed.

They had carried his body back, wouldn’t leave him for the humans. He died to save them and he would be buried and mourned properly among his people. 

She held the ring he meant to give her, bloodstained as the rest of her, couldn’t bear to wear it on her finger, but couldn’t let it go either. A simple band that once held the promise of a future. 

The knock on the door roused her, she had been standing, disassociating for who knows how long in the middle of the room, still and bloody and coated in wrath and ruin. 

“Winona? I have some water for you.” Soris called in to her.

She stumbled to the door, caught in her endless cycling thoughts, denial, then rage, sickening loss, then numbness.

She flung open the door, harder than she meant to. She distantly heard Shianni’s startled gasp, saw Soris’s wide-eyed face.

Who was she anymore?

“Are you…?”

Winona shook her head, she didn’t trust her words, just took the bucket and nodded a thanks to Soris, before carefully closing the door, pressing her back against it as conflicting feelings warred within her.

The knotted guilt in her belly at having caused Shianni further distress with her carelessness.

The relief that Soris would be safe. Yes, she took the blame alone, she had to. Too much blood covered her to say she didn’t have a hand in it, but Soris would be safe and _home_.

She dumped the bucket of water in the basin, setting her sword to the side reluctantly, her chest tightening at the protection she was releasing.

Cloth damp, she tried to scrub, starting with her hands, but there was so much blood.

She stared at it.

Winona didn’t even know who’s blood it was. Vaughn’s or Nelaros’s, one of the nameless guards she slew… She had never killed anything bigger than a rat and now she had killed…how many? Ten? Fifteen?

She didn’t regret it, not really, but the blood of many clung to her skin and it was growing heavier with each breath she took. 

She didn’t know her hands were shaking until Shianni grasped them in hers.

No words were spoken, just a shared understanding that nothing would be the same. What could they say to cover that?

With gentleness and care, Shianni helped her out of the blood-stained clothing, slowly cleaning away the gore, combing out Winona’s hair, removing the ruined flowers picked and braided in with joy just this morning.

Slowly and deliberately, the signs of the horrors were cleared away, until Winona stood cold and shaking, the basin a dripping, deep red.

They held on to each other, tears flowing freely down both of their cheeks.

“Thank you.” Shianni whispered, her face pressed against Winona’s shoulder.

Winona stroked her head, replying, “I would kill them all again.”

“I know.”

Another knock at the door separated them, though they kept hands clasped.

“It’s me again. That warden fellow, Duncan, sent some armor for you.” Soris called in.

“Come in.” Her voice was strained, sore from the screams she vaguely remembered, fighting to raise it loud enough to pass through the door.

Soris entered cautiously, his arms full of unfamiliar bits of leather and blue clothing. Seeing his cousins, he set his burden aside and pulled them both into a hug. They always had each other, the three of them, since childhood. Three against the world.

Now just two would remain.

Winona stepped back, shuddering breathes steadying her. She picked at the pile of clothing, lost at even where to begin.

Together, the three of them worked together to get Winona into her new outfit, mismatched pieces that mostly fit, dark blues and worn leather. She scrubbed her mother’s boots, refusing the new ones and sliding those bequeathed to her on.

Soris braided her hair, while Shianni rummaged for something, Winona didn’t have the strength to ask.

A thin leather thong, a string left over from a project. Shianni lightly plucked the ring Winona was still grasping and strung it, making a simple necklace.

When she tied it around Winona’s neck, the tears flowed again; pain, aching loss, unyielding love.

All too soon, she was ready. Shianni handed her the borrowed sword, which Winona slipped into the sheath now strapped across her back.

“Well, cousin, you look ready to take on the world.” Soris said, his hand resting on her shoulder.

Winona forced a smile, let it become real as she pulled her best friends close once more. “I love you both.”

“And we love you.” Soris replied.

“You’ll come back to us.” Shianni stated, her eyes leaving no question, but a demanding promise, a spark of her fierceness shining through.

“I will fight to get home.” Winona promised, pulling fully away. “I…I have to go.”

“I can’t…” Shianni drooped again, hugging herself until Soris embraced her, cooing soothing words.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay with Shianni.” The words were for Winona, gave her the strength to leave the room, to leave her closest friends in the world behind. They had each other, they would be okay, she had to believe that. 

“You are so much like your mother.” Her father’s words cut what control she had garnered. He gathered her up before she could collapse on the ground.

“Hush, now, my child. You are strong, stronger than you know. Adaia trained you well and true, you will find your way back to us.” He held her face, thumbs wiping away her tears, before he kissed her forehead, speaking with profound certainty. “My kindhearted daughter. This is not the life either of us planned for, but I know you will survive - no _thrive_ \- wherever this path takes you.”

He kissed her brow once more, before helping her up and handing her a pack. “We put together some supplies, food and water, some necessities. Duncan seems a good man, Valendrian trust him.”

“He gave Soris this sword.”

“And you used it to escape.”

“Yes.” She stood tall. Even though she had been taller than her father for years now, he had never seemed smaller. “Promise me you will take care of yourself, while I’m not here. Soris can help with things.”

He offered a tired smile. “I will not fade away. I will be waiting for your return. I’ll even keep that garden of yours going.”

Promises made, good-byes given, there was nothing but her own trepidation keeping her from the door.

Bracing herself, promising to herself that she would return, she opened the door and stepped outside, to wherever this grey warden would lead her.


End file.
